Chatter

I Miss…

Lately I’ve had so many moments where missing someone overwhelms me to the point I have had to stop and take a deep breath. It’s in a Saturday morning brunch that I miss an old friend. In the middle of a football game or a family holiday that I miss my brother. In a night of Chipotle and How I Met Your Mother that I miss a former boyfriend. In a work dilemma that I miss several former coworkers and our walks or our chats in the back room. In a movie that we saw, a place we visited, a restaurant where we used to go to Sunday night dinners. In planning a vacation without my college friends. In an inside joke with no one around who gets it. And I realized how your life ebbs and flows. 

I used to always believe that everyone I loved would stay in my life forever. And if I just held on tight enough, we would all grow old together and have our kids be friends and go on yearly vacations. We would live in the same neighborhoods and have an envious type of friendship, the ones that just show up on your doorstep and have known you for 20+ years. 

I have amazing friends in New York City. I have amazing friends all over the country. But sometimes, it still knocks the wind out of me that certain people are no longer a part of my every day or my future. And I just want to freeze time right where it is so that the missing will never come back in a new way.